Social Servants Anonymous (SSA)
The Twelve Steps

Step One

We finally admitted we were powerless to make a difference in people’s lives - that other people’s lives are basically unmanageable by us, especially when we are barely able to manage our own.

Step Two

Came to believe that a Social Servant greater than ourselves, while unable to ameliorate the human condition, could restore us to sanity by freeing us from the compulsive need to improve the lot of those less fortunate than ourselves.

Step Three

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of the Great Social Servant in the firmament as we understood Him or Her, as the case may be, genderwise - trusting that we will not have to stand in line or be placed on a Waiting List.

Step Four

Made a fearless and searching moral inventory of ourselves and others, and concluded that compared with others - especially welfare sluts, ne’er-do-wells and winos, and other foodstamp cheats - we look pretty damn good, something which we had suspected all along, but suppressed to keep from making the less fortunate feel inadequate.

Step Five

Admitted to The Great Social Servant, and to ourselves, and to a member of the infrastructure and a member of the indigenous disadvantaged minorities and a representative oppressed illegal alien, the exact nature of our wrongs - and freely confessed that our wrongs consisted of a nebulous blend of dabblings, meddlings, and proliferations of paperwork.

Step Six

Were entirely ready to have the Great Social Servant remove all these defects of character so that we could once again freely and spontaneously blame the victims of the System without a sense of middle class pseudo-liberal guilt.

Step Seven

Humbly used up our sick leave and vacation time, and asked for severance pay to hold us over until we collected SSI, while the State Accident Insurance Fund could process our claim for disability due to headaches and lower back pain from caring too much for the problems of others and carrying the weight of the world on our broad, but inadequate, shoulders.

Step Eight

Made a computerized list of all the persons we had harmed by reinforcing their dependence upon social services, and without taking them into our own homes, became willing to make amends to them, by sending our sincere apologies in a form letter.

Step Nine

Made direct amends to such people wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others, and as long we could do it in a short telephone conversation and they didn’t make nuisances of themselves.

Step Ten

Continued to take a personal inventory and when we were wrong, which happened less and and less, promptly admitted it, instead of developing a new set of theories and rationalizations to cover our asses.

Step Eleven

Sought through transcendental meditation, est, mindless immersion in television soaps, and reruns of Barney Miller and Star Trek, to improve our conscious contact with the Great Social Servant as we understood Him or Her, praying only for knowledge of His or Her will for us and the power to carry that out, as long as it didn’t involve crisis lines and direct social services to clients.

Step Twelve

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to Social Servants everywhere and to practice these principles in all our affairs, while at the same time getting lots of sunshine and doing the garden work first.

The Social Servant Anonymous Creed

Lord grant me the serenity
To accept the status quo,
The courage to refuse becoming
           a magic helper,
And the wisdom to disengage
          from debilitating and ineffectual
          social networks.

 

 

 
This heresy courtesy of:
Morris Street Writers Group

Mark Worden

 

Mark Worden is the co-author (with Gayle Rosellini) of five books on recovery from chemical dependency, including Of Course You’re Angry, Here Comes the Sun, Strong Choices, Weak Choices, and Of Course You’re Anxious, (all published by Hazelden Educational Materials and Harper / Collins), and Barriers to Intimacy (Hazelden, Dell). 

Taming Your Turbulent Past is free on the internet.

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Other writings: Advice To Young Poets

 

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